There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
