Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
