It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
