And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She's JV to your varsity
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
