I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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