i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
