im gay
i know
yea but for you.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
