Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
