Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just cut my nipple shaving
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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