wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
