All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
