im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
