And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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