bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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