Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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