I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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