im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
