Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
