don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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