she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
