put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
