Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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