Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Who died my cat blue again?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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