you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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