the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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