direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
