thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
