Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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