real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
