2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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