What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
