Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
