AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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