spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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