Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
