question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize