She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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