I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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