so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
