the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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