Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
