I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
