She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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