Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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