Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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