i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
