Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize