it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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