So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
His nipple licking is glorious
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