i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I smell stomach acid.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
