never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
