Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
