He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
