I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
