if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You are a genius and a whore.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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