Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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