dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
