remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize