I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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