Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I love you.
Bad choice
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
