KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
